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Rita Webb Film Appearances




Rita gets to ham it up as the fortune teller "Madam Rita" playing alongside camp (in a blonde wig) Kenn Parry who's character 'Podsnap' is running away from a couple of thugs, Rita is seen sitting outside her fortune-tellers hut, and shouts to him"ere sir the mysteries of life, straight, look, ere, come inside, come on, please, Madam Read yer, madam read yer, come on" Parry is pulled inside by Rita, and the rest of the scene takes place inside the hut.Rita "Now what's it gonna be, the ball, the cards, or the hand?" Kenn "What, er, oh I don't want to buy anything" Rita "Oh know, you don't understand, you see you can have the ball, the cards or the hand cos I've got the fluence to use them all" (Madame R's pet parrot interrupts) Parrot - "lying witch" Rita "shut-up yer silly bugger, oh I am sorry sir, now what's it gonna be, the ball, the card or the hand?" Kenn - "Well whatever you suggest" Rita - "Oh I am glad you said that sir, cos' looking at you I'd say the hand, with a little bit of the ball thrown in, but I must tell yer in all fairness the hand is a little bit dearer" Kenn "Why it says outside the entire reading for one-pound" Rita "all you're dead right on that score sir, of course being a romany you've got to cross my hand with silver, you do understand dontcha, dontcha?" Kenn (fumbles for some money) "I see" Rita "Don't delve to deep sir hahahaha, oh fifty-pence pieces if you please sir, ah that's alright, now give me yer hand, yer left one and let us see what we can see, ohhh there's plenty ere, it's the plane as the nose on my face, you've had trouble with a man haventcha?" Kenn - "Two men actually" Rita "No there's only one man and he's in a high place, and you're on a quest and I can see stones, have you had an illness recently?" Kenn - "No not that I can think of" Rita "Gaul stones?" Kenn "No I had a touch of bronchitis last month" Rita - "No it's not that, I can only see stones, you're surrounded by them, are you sure you haven't had any trouble with your water works?" Kenn - "quiet sure" Rita - "Oh, all I can see is stones, stones and stones" Kenn - "Stones?, it's Brighton beach, their the stones, I'm on the right path" Rita - "No, no your not where you should be, you're on a quest and it's further afield, but yer gonna travel, that's that line there that tells me that, but I think I'll look at me ball, ah yes it's coming clearer now, ere we are, there's someone very high up who's gonna drop a load of trouble on your shoulders (The Parrot who is above him relieves himself) Ohhh I am sorry sir, but yer see since he's been living on the pier I ain't been able to get him house trained, but wait a minute, oh it's coming through now, yes, em, I've got to be very blunt about this, have you had anything to do with any women lately?" Kenn - "No not that I can think of" Rita - "Well I can see the letter 'C', 'C' 'C' 'C', is it Christopher?" Kenn -"Christine" Rita "ah it's coming very near now, I think I'll use me cards" Kenn "Oh yes please do, do try the cards, tell me more, tell me more Rita - "Now sit quiet sir, you sit there and I'll tell yer what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna let it come out all natural like, tell me, tell me, you are going where birds fly free, stones, stones, look for the stones, oh dear I'm exhausted, I've told you everything, I've given you a double helping of everything, the balls, the cards and the hand, I think I outta charge you a little bit more, it's only fare isn't it? (he gives her a note) Blimey I can't change this!" Kenn - "Now you're sure ive got to look for the stones?" Rita "You can depend upon it, you can take the word of a Romany" Parrot - "Lies, all lies" Rita - (Stuffing the money down her bra) "I'll kill you yer bastard"

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