UP THE CHASTITY BELT - 1971 Directed by Bob Kellett

Only Frankie Howerd could have got away with casting Rita Webb as Maid Marion! This is a great little scene and always gets a laugh. Frankie and Hugh Paddick (as a very camp Robin Hood) are sitting in the forest chatting about the weather, when the conversation turns to Maid Marion, "I thought you and Maid Marion were at it" exclaims Frankie "You must be mad, Maid Marion, have you ever met her?" crys Robin, "no, I haven't had that pleasure" quips Frankie. At this moment Rita is heard screeching "Robin, Robin, where are yer" Robin replies "Over here petal" Frankie is looking flabbercasted with mouth open as Rita continues "Five bleedin' hours i've been riding, i've got something to tell you. Prince Johns up at Nottingham castle and his got a big shake on. The bloody kings back in the country, so yer better getcha finger out and ave a go" Frankie interrupts "and who prey is this fragile wood nimph?" Robin explains "this is the Maid Marion" Frankie does a "ah, em, pardon" looks to camera and gives one of the biggest insults in film history "Well that explains a lot of things, well you can't really blame him can you, I mean could you? with her, ohh". He turns back to Rita and says "so you are the beautyiest maid Marion, how do you do?" Rita replys "not very often, thank yer" Frankie remarks "ah your reputation is spread far and wide" and looks at Rita's waste "and that's not the only thing by the look of it". Robin interrups "have you eaten heart face?" Rita's face turns gumpy "No i'm starving hungry" and shouts across the forest, as Frankie and Hugh whince "Oi Shagnasty, get that bleedin' deer cut up, and bung us a leg" and she marches off camera. Frankie turns to the camera and says "To think we could have got Julie Andrews for the same money" This is an extremely funny film, Eartha Kitt also appeared in a cameo, but sadly not in the same scene as Rita, they did meet on set though and got on well. It's a pity she was only in the one scene, as it would have been nice to have seen her in the fight scene at the end..